The things of home

Part of living overseas is living without the things that make home home. Many times, those things become amplified into the things that really make up the culture of home in comparison to the culture that one is currently living in. And, while there are indeed similar experience of what it is that makes home home, for each person it is a bit different. Confused by what I just said? Let me explain...

For me, there are several things by which I identify my home culture of America as being my home culture. That is to say, now living in Russia, there are definitely those things which both our cultures share in common, but there are plently of things that I now miss from my native culture. Of course, and most obvious, the largest thing is the English language. Papers and magazines in English, T.V. shows in English, conversations in English, labels on food in English, signs in English, etc. Another is food, especially those foods that are impossible (or nearly impossible) to find here: rootbeer, Reese's peanut butter cups, red licorice, macadamia nuts, blueberries, pecans, sweet potatoes, etc. Or instead of the food itself, its how the food of home tasted. For example, we can find cheese here, but it just doesn't taste like chedder/jack/mozzarella. We can also find tortilla chips, but they aren't nearly as good as Doritos. Sure, there is Russian ice cream, but it isn't like Ben & Jerry's. There are, I believe, those things of home (like food) that are always compared with the things of the new culture, and often fail to live up to the ideals of what is at home.

Another type of cultural norm that is soon missed, but often is hard to identify, are societal expecatitions and customs. Often, while living abroad, these are the things that are intuitively known to be different, but are often hard to identify. They are the things that are never discussed per se, but are nonetheless expected to be known. For example, here in Russia men shake hands with men, but not women. Why? I don't know--I haven't gotten that deep into the culture to understand it, and sometime I forget this stipulation, shake hands with a woman, and am given a strange look (both by the woman herself, and by those around me). Another little social custom that is different is taking pictures. Here, when people have their picture taken, most likely they won't smile. Why? Again, I don't know, but I have learned enough to know not to automatically smile.

In reality, the first two groups are the things that one initially learns to live without, and thinks comprises "culture shock," but the reality is that they are only the superficial dressings that lie beneath the deeper, hidden realities of what comprise a culture. These deeper meanings are often much more profoundly different, not just grazing at the superficial level, but rather reach deep into the heart of the person. They are the things that define and identify what it means to be American/Russian/German/Korean. But, and here is the hardest part as a foreigner to understand regarding these culturally conditioned norms: they are often so deeply rooted within the person that the person is blind to them, doesn't know why they are as they are, and is at a loss to explain them. YET, these are the very things, which when learned, are the most exciting thing that a foreigner can learn about his/her new country.